Second Guessing Yourself...Is It Really for Suckers?

How often do you find yourself in a position where your realize your first mind was right, but you second guessed yourself and ended up on the short end of the stick? *raises hand*

I used to be one of you.  I would always second guess myself, especially if my decision concerned some one else. I stopped second guessing myself because each time I would do it, I would regret it.  I know that if you continue doing the same things you'll continue to get the same results, so I had to stop.  God gave you an intuition along with all the many other things he blessed you with. Use it!!  If your first mind says No, so should your mouth.  Also, don't do things for people that they won't do for you, because in the end you'll end up resenting them and pissed off with yourself for being naive and allowing someone to use you.  Life is short be sure you spend your time doing what is best for you and not what's best for everyone else. You control your happiness.

*Be Dazzling*

I just wanna be...I just wanna be SUCCESSFUL!!!!

To be successful in a relationship I need these things TRUST. RESPECT. SELF CONTROL. FAITH. HONESTY. and the ability to COMPROMISE. It's really simple for a girl like me to live up to these words because I've never been fake. If I make a mistake I openly and honestly admit it. Even if I flirt with a man I tell my husband {awkward} in so many words. Not all the words come out LOL but most of them do. That isn't something everyone knows about me. I am an open book with my husband. There is nothing he doesn't know about me.

 

TRUST - reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence

RESPECT - to show regard or consideration for

SELF CONTROL - control or restraint for oneself or one's actions

FAITH - strong or unshakable belief in something, especially without proof

HONESTY - truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness

COMPROMISE - a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agrement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprical modification of demands

Now that we've laid out the ground work here we go. In my opinion, I believe TRUST and RESPECT go hand in hand. First and foremost, in order to get someone to TRUST you completely, you must earn their RESPECT. You also have to 'show' them a tremendous amount of RESPECT. You have to give a little to get a little. A man and a woman can not have a successful relationship if you don't TRUST and RESPECT each other. For instance, cheating is what men and women concern themselves with the most when in a relationship. The man is trying to make sure his woman isn't cheating on him and vice versa but if she RESPECTS you she would never disRESPECT you by cheating on you. To get to that level you have to earn it. Most men believe spending money on their girlfriend is enough to make her loyal. That is not true! I am not materialistic and I know that I am not alone. HOO-RAH Ladies! One of the things I would do in college that helped my husband see that I was not just after his money was I would ask him for money to do different things with my friends. I didn't work because I was in school and he was okay with that. Sometimes I would want to go to the movies or skating or to dinner and he would bring me money but he would always give me one hundred dollar bills. Instead of thinking "he must have a lot of money" I would get irritated because hundred dollar bills were very hard to break. LOL You get the point. So, spending money on your girlfriend is not always the best was to make her loyal. Being an honorable man is the best way to do it. If you say that you will be at the Walgreens on ABC Street at 3 pm. Be There! If you can't make it call as soon as you know and divulge that info. Show her that you know her time is precious and you RESPECT that. If you show her the utmost RESPECT she will show it back. In order for her to show you that utmost RESPECT you have to allow her a little cushion room and TRUST that she will be loyal and 'hold her man down'. Every woman is human and loves attention from a man. A good friend of mine once told me "conversation with the opposite sex is both healthy and intelligent." So, if you see your girlfriend or boyfriend 'talking' to someone, don't become the needy whiny person you yourself would despise. Allow them to use their SELF CONTROL. When you are apart have FAITH that God has blessed you with something amazing, that you deserve to be happy and, most of all, have faith in that person. When you feel any type of way about something that you don't like, be HONEST about it. Don't let things pass and you bury them in your internal vault because eventually 'mad day' will come and that is what you want to avoid happening. Mad day is when the two of you have let things skirt by for a long period of time and then it all comes to a head. This usually happens about 2 months before the relationship ends. I say that because when mad day happens the most mean, abusive disRESPECTful, hurtful things are said because you are trying to win the argument. What you don't realize is after all is said and done you can never take back those disRESPECTful, hurtful things that you didnt really mean. People say sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. Bullsh*t! I think adults made that up to help children cope with being teased in elementary school. When the man you love calls you a b*tch, you can't go back from that or when the woman you love tells you that you are less than a man, you can't take that back. I think it's best to be up front and HONEST and COMPROMISE with each other to prevent the bad blood. If you hate that he leaves his dirty socks in the floor tell him. Don't just pick them up everyday and then one day he has dirty socks in his dinner plate and he looks at you like you have completely lost your mind. :o) Relationships are a blessing. The purpose of deciding to be in a relationship with someone should be to learn and grow together not to see who can come out on top but in a successful relationship there is no out. Remember that!

TRUST. RESPECT. SELF CONTROL. FAITH. HONESTY. COMPROMISE.

*Be Dazzling*

What's Yours Is Mine....Or Is It?!?!?!

When you get married does everything you possess become half your spouses or does your time remain your own?

Being a married woman is hard sometimes and I need what I call my "sane time" in order to stay sane.  My "sane time" is the time I spend away from my husband and children, free from housework and all responsibilities.  Just time that I spend with my friends laughing and being merry.  Is that really too much to ask for?  I recently had a conversation with two important people in my life who feel like married woman should not go to nightclubs.  We'll call them John and Jane Doe. :o)

When women are married should they stop going to nightclubs??

Should I really have to trade in time with my girls for movie nights at home?  Jane Doe thinks the decision to stop going to nightclubs shows maturity.  So, am I immature for going?  If my bills are paid, my children are asleep, my husband is tended to and my work for the day is done, why is it a problem?  A LOT of my time is devoted to three other people.  I'd say 85% of my time is devoted to them, 10% is devoted to sleep and the rest is devoted to me.  Is that fair?   When you say I do are you really saying, I do agree to give up everything I love because I'm married?  Or is it okay for a woman to take time for herself?  John Doe says ONLY single women should go out to nightclubs.  If a married women or a women in a relationship is out at that time she is sending a message that she wants to be hit on.  I think that is crazy.  How can someone who I don't know assume because I am somewhere that is not exclusive to single people, that I want to be approached.  If I am wearing my wedding ring and not interacting with anyone but the women that I came with THAT should send a message as well as far as I'm concerned.  I just don't know anymore. Is my time my own??

*Be Dazzlinggg*

Oh Really!!!!

Wow! Even how you sleep tells who you are.  These are the top sleeping positions and their explanations. 

(I put my own spin on the names!)

Fetal Form

Obviously, this position is that of a baby.  Laying in fetal position is believed to be the position of people who are shy initially but relax after a while, and are tough on the outside but are sensitive on the inside.

(This is the most common sleeping position amongst women.)

Trunk 

 Laying on your side with both arms down by your side.  These people are very easy going and may be gullible because they love to be a part of the in crowd and are trusting of strangers.

Stiff Man 

Laying on your back with your arms straight down by your sides.  This position suggests that people who sleep like this are shy and reserved.  Thy really don;t like to make a fuss but they set their own standards and others' standards very high.

 Halo

 Laying on your back with both of your arms up around your pillow.  It is said that these people help others often and are great friends because they are always ready to listen, but they don't like to be life of the party, i.e. the center of attention.

Free Form

Laying on your tummy with your hands up around your pillow with your head turned to the side.  This sleeping positions suggests that you are thin skinned, you do not like crazy situations or criticism.  Usually brash (hasty, high spirited) and gregarious (sociable) people sleep this way.

I am a Free Form sleeper and I think my description is correct.  

How I Care For My Skin

I started my skin care journey in 2008.  I believed the myth "chocolate gives you acne" until I watched Dear Doctor and found out it takes about 2 weeks for a pimple to form.  I used Cetaphil facial cleaner for a year but I grew tired of the burning sensation and having to use extra moisturizer because the cleanser left my skin too dry.  

I scheduled an appointment with a Mary Kay consultant and left with the entire skincare line as well as these makeup products.

My mom used to sell Mary Kay when I was a child and I didn't understand why.  She has a degree and is an educator but now that I have tried the products I understand.

The 3 in 1 TimeWise Cleanser is Awesome.  When you finish your skin is not only clean but soft as a baby's bottom.  It cleanses your better than you would ever expect. 

My Makeup Favs

I am a BIG Victoria's Secret makeup lover.  Almost all of my makeup products are from VS.  My absolute FAV is the Glitterati Bronzer. 

My second FAV is the VS Tinted Moisturizer.   I don't always wear foundation.  On the days when I don't I apply my tinted moisturizer and a little but of my glitterati just to give my face that "alive" look but not be over the top.  

My shadows are all found in the Ultimate Kit VS sells. I don't like to buy the individuals because I don't enjoy digging thru 50 million little eye shadows. Also, I'm a bit of a klutz and I tend to drop the on single eyeshadow I own and more and more shadow cracks off each time, leaving a mess I DON'T want to clean up LOL.  The Kit not only has all the shadows I love but it has a highlighter, a bronzer, a travel size mascara, eyeliner, lip liner and brushes, and a variety of blushes, lipsticks and the matching glosses.  It just doesn't get any better than that.

Eat Your Way Thin

The best way to lose weight is to eat healthy.  I know everyone promotes working out more than eating healthy because workouts make you sweat.  Eating healthy helps you to clean all the toxins out of your body that years of eating unhealthy food have put in.  Here are 20 foods that I plan to incorporate into my diet.

1. Apples (an apple a day keeps the doctor away) :o)

2. Steak - organic beef

3. Eggs (yolks and all)

4. Kale - this will be new to me too and doesn't sound all that appetizing but it's supposed to be good for you, so, I'm down.

5.  Oats - "I get alotta that" I eat oatmeal all the time.

6. Lentils - basically a fancy word for beans.

7. Goji Berries - these have to be healthy because my grandma drinks Goji Berry juice LOL

8. Wild Salmon - this one will be difficult for me because I hate the fishy taste Salmon has but I'll try and eat more of it.

9. Buckwheat Pasta - I never expected to hear my food called Buckwheat but hey, I'm not a hater LOL.  
10. Blueberries - I knew about blueberries already.  I drink blueberry juice because I read that they reduce belly fat.

11.  Almond Butter - I'm not sure what this is but I'm gonna find out.

12.  Sardines - wait.....they are actually good.  You should try the flavored sardines.

13.  Parmesan - I don't tend to eat a lot of cheese because it can easily stop your body up but when I do eat it (by itself) I eat Parmesan sticks.

14. Tarragon - I'm just as confused as you.

15. Chiles - I don't know what these are either but they say you should eat them with these --> 16.  Quinoa

Yep! You guessed it! I don;t know what this is either LOL.

17.  Yogurt - I have yet to find a yogurt that I rEally like but I wont give up.

18.  Pomegranates - I usually stick to the juice but I'll try the berries too.

19.  Avocado - never had them.

20.  Olive Oil 

As I try these new things I'll share my experiences with you.  I am hell bent on being 10 lbs lighter for my anniversary in March.   I hope you guys will be adventurous with me and try some of these foods.  Self.com wouldn't lie, I hope! LOL

Cellulite Smackdown

If you read my Eat Your Way Thin you got a list of foods that will improve your diet but these foods will put the smack down on an enemy you may have CELLULITE.

Cellulite tends to form when your skin isn't as healthy as it should be and your blood sugar is off balance. you may be signaling your body to store fat instead of signaling it to burn it by eating lots of sugar filled foods.  Sugar filled foods increase your insulin and when insulin increases your body is being told to store fat.  Join me in adding some of these foods to your diet and see if they help.

Brown Rice, Grapes, Apples, Celery, Watermelon, Oranges, Popcorn, Papaya, Kiwi, Oatmeal, an Red Bell Peppers.  Good Luck!!!

Yaaaay!!!!! It's Mudbug Season!!!

Hey Hey Hey!!! I am absolutely ECSTATIC about crawfish season. It is my favorite food and nothing else (food wise :/) makes me happier.  With my recent healthy life change I decided to get the skinny on crawfish and whether or not I can partake as often as I had in my past years.  I found out a lot I didn't know about those little red heads.

Crawfish are native to Louisiana, even though other Southern states have them, they originated here. Yea Baby!!!  I know they say eat everything in moderation or small portions but it takes 7lbs of shelled crawfish to provide 1 lb of unpeeled crawfish, sO, that means I'll be eating 7lbs as often as I can. LOL They are LOW in fat and calories, high in protein and minerals and are suggested to be included in diets of people who are have high cholesterol.  Just so you know, according to my calorie counter on my Kindle Fire, 5lbs of shelled crawfish is 538 calories, that is 107.6 calories per pound.  Enjoy!  

Be Dazzling!

Spice Up Your V-Day With These Healthy Afrodisiacs!!

Happy Valentine's Day

Asparagus gets your blood flowing 

and improves sexual desire.
Acai Berries increase desirability.  

Artichokes help make you more  attractive and increases your sexual ability. 

Chocolate is said to make your body feel-good. Cumin is a natural sexual stimulant when mixed with black pepper and honey.

The following foods are all considered to be fertility stimulants because of their ovary-like shape.  LADIES: If you don't want to hear the pitter patter of little feet you may want to reduce your V-Day intake of these foods: Almonds, Avocados, Cilantro, Figs, Garlic, Oysters, Strawberries. 
 

I know a lot of these foods are not traditional Valentine's Day snacks but you can incorporate them into a home cooked meal.  If you are eating out you can order an entree with garlic or cilantro in it and maybe order some asparagus as a side dish.  Good Luck and Be Dazzling!

Mardi Gras Mambo 2012

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez - Let The Good Times Roll

The La Place Parade in La Place, LA

East Saint John High School is the high school I attended.  Go Wildcats!

Fat Tuesday - Mardi Gras Day
At the corner of Basin Street and Canal Street my family ad I had a GOOD time!

The Zulu parade is an all african american parade.  This year was the first year I have ever seen any diversity in it.  

Zulu is the only parade that throws coconuts.  In past years the coconuts were real but of course tossing real coconuts was sure to cause accidents, so, they drain them now.  It doesn't matter much to us because they hand decorate each coconut.

This year we caught 17 coconuts, 1 real coconut, 3 hula hoops, 3 umbrellas, over 20 stuffed animals and too many beads to count. 

The Human Jukebox of Southern University was the first band in the parade. you can imagine how excited I was to see them considering I am a student at Southern University. It was a nice treat.

R.I.P Mr. Knighten

You can see anything in New Orleans, even an Old English dress with a fleur de lis print.  We are die hard Saints fans. Go Saints! WHO DAT BABY!!

Welcome Home from Afghanistan!!!

I am soooo glad my bro in law is back home.  If he reenlists I'll kill him myself LOL 

POWER! Who Has It?

At some point or another, in life, everyone's anger gets the best of them. You may yell and scream or cuss (not curse LOL) someone out but do you ever really let it go?  I raise the question because of the last few episodes of Basketball Wives.

In my opinion, Jennifer has control over Evelyn.  Jennifer's presence in the room, alone, can instantly change Evelyn's demeanor.  It caused me to question myself.  Is there anyone in this world who I can't stand to be around? Someone that I have so much disdain for that I would jump across a table to attack them?  My answer, no.  Honestly, if a woman or man has a problem with me but has not expressed that problem to me, then that's a personal problem, as far as I'm concerned, and so it does not concern me. Ya feel me?  

In the event that I do get into an argument, I am straightforward. I tell you exactly how I feel in the least disrespectful but honest way I can, so that I can move on with a clear conscience.  I often find I'm riding solo in that regard, because not many people I know can/have truly let things go when they say they have.  You give the usual responses, "aight then, I'm good." or "We're Good." when you really aren't.  So ask yourself, are you leaving other people the opportunity to have power over you because you won't let go of the past? Is it worth it to be forced to isolate yourself from some of your friends or family because you can't or won't control your own emotions?  You can't control what others do but you can control YOU. 

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

I celebrated my birthday in true ASHLEY style, which means lots and lots of fun and laughter in my three cities

With All My Besties

....and my WONDERFUL husband!!!

Earth Day Outing

Can you find the Queen Bee?

We found out how long things take to deteriorate in the ocean.

We felt soil dug up from Hurricane Katrina.

We played with and learned about turtles.

We danced with Belly dancers.

What's in My Purse TAG

The "Fat Wrap": Slam or Scam?!

Is this a tried and true method or is it another get rich quick scheme invented by a new Hollywood cosmetologist?  I saw Kim Zolciak have a fat wrap done on RHOA and the instructor said immediately after she took it off  "I can see some results already".

Was that for show?  Was she saying that simply because she was being filmed or were there results?
I decided to put on my Channel 9 news reporter hat, and do a little investigating.  Here are my questions and my findings:

QUESTION: What is a fat (body) wrap? 

ANSWER: Therapy that is used to detoxify, heal, reduce excess fat and fluid from tissue, restore minerals and reduce joint pain from your body; also tighten and tone and nourish and soften your skin.

QUESTION: Who created this method?

ANSWER:  It was created by the Egyptians, to stimulate circulation.

QUESTION: How much does it cost?  

ANSWER: The herbal wraps are about $20 per wrap if ordered online. In a spa, they range from $150 to about $250, or you can pay $50 per session.

QUESTION: Do the results last? 

ANSWER: They are NOT permanent.  The toxins you rid your body of will come back because they are inhaled in the air we breathe, ingested in the food we eat, and the drinks we consume.  You do not begin to see your body shape shift until 2 to 3 months after a body wrap but it will not last if you do not accompany the wrap with healthy eating, staying VERY hydrated, making sure your circulation is good, and *dun...dun....dun* following up with additional wraps.

2012 Mother's Day

Aries Mothers 

Aries ladies will appreciate gifts that are fun filled i.e., race car driving, bungee jumping, rock climbing.

Taurus Mothers

Taurus Mothers will appreciate sensual & practical gifts.  Gifts that are simple but thoughtful. 

Gemini Mothers

Gemini Mothers will appreciate gifts that promote knowledge.

Cancer Mothers

Cancer Mothers will appreciate gifts that will help promote their home life.

Leo Mothers

Leo Mothers will appreciate gifts that are fabulous.  Lavish gifts with bold prints will be perfect.

Virgo Mothers

Virgo Mothers will appreciate gifts that will help them better themselves on their quest to perfection.

Libra Mothers

Libra Mothers will appreciate jewelry, always, no matter the occasion. 

Scorpio Mothers

Scorpio Mothers will appreciate secretive but sensual gifts like a scavenger hunt leading them to a massage or a candle lit bubble bath in a hidden or unfamiliar location.

Sagittarius Mothers

Sagittarius Mothers will appreciate surprises. Present an adrenaline rushed filled gift in the form of a surprise. i.e.m, tell her you're going to watch the stars but leave out the fact that it'll be in a hot air balloon. 

Capricorn Mothers 

Capricorn Mothers will appreciate a gift that they would love to have but would never buy for themselves because they think it is too expensive, like a spa day or sexy lingerie. 

Aquarius Mothers

Aquarius Mothers will appreciate a technological gift or a gift involving travel.

Pisces Mothers

Pisces Mothers will love feet pampering gifts like a pedicure or a new pair of shoes.

TopCoat Tuesday

I'm trying something new this week.  Pink & Red w/ two tones of dazzle Pink & Silver glitter polish, based & coated with Sally Hansen Double Duty clear strengthening polish. 

Wet Tip Wednesday

  

This week Im rocking Nail bling by Iss Beauty.  They are nail appliques that were extremely easy to apply.  I added a clear top coat, even though it isn't necessary.  Avoid oils and wear gloves when washing dishes if your hands will be submerged. 

2012 BET Awards

 

 

Most Beautiful Moments

MC's Speech - Mariah Carey & Whitney made one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard "When You Believe". I danced to this song in high school.  MC & WH  have two of the most distinct voices ever to grace our ears.

Brandy's tribute to Whitney -This touched my heart because I recently watched Cinderella, on BET, which features Brandy, as Cinderella, and Whitney, as her fairy godmother.  Viewers tweeted they felt other people could have sung better,
but I was pleasantly
surprised and loved it. 

Monica's tribute to Whitney blew me away.  Homegirl can BLOW.  Okaaay! The girl is truly blessed beyond measure.

 
Soulja Boy's younger brother died in an auto accident and was 14 y/o when he died.   Many, many, many people are attacking and disrespecting this man for having a moment of weakness but it takes a strong man to show his emotion willingly, unafraid of ridicule and taunting. I applaud him for not being ashamed. 

Overall thoughts of this years awards show.  This year BET brought us a classy, uplifting but seemingly rushed affair.  The show flowed well and ended with a banger. My 2012 BET Awards experience was great.  We danced, laughed and cried together, but most of all we were entertained.